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My Waste Of SpaceAn account of semi-drunken ramblings of a broken man
March 20 Long time no blog...havent written anythin in this thing for decades... by that i mean a month. However alot has happened within those glorious little 28 days. Id liek to say i was working hard and to say that was the reason i didnt post, but lets face it, thats a blatent lie. Anyway.. got the magical allmighty V-Festival tickets which sold out faster than you can say very expensive peice of paper. Anyway that will be a great little alcohol infused little get-together for us... oh and there will be bands there which will be cool. What else...? Finnaly emptied out the deepest darkest areas of my piggy bank to pay for my new laptop, so i can play games- i mean do important coursework in the common room... which is nice. Its even sweeter i managed to get into the schools little network and get on the internet. Who knows i might get bored and get out the old Ethereal app and see what wincott looks at on his pc.. oh the possabilities. Oh yeah and eBay isnt my friend this time of the year i noticed. This time last year i bought an item that never came, and by-golly-gosh my bad luck hit me this year again- albiet 3 days difference. Ok well the item did come but it was faulty.. which made me angry like pulling off my right foot and throwing it at the little bastard... anyway if he doesnt fess up to the big black thugs at Paypal i get my £60 back which will be nice. Until then i cant use the laptop through the pixie magic that is wireless until i get a router that works without it spazing out and doing a little random light show meaning 'Help me!'.
Oh yeah we took another boner inspiring trip to the Tate again this year where the best part of the trip was a boat ride, which was pretty dull. The tate britan is full of tons of work which, i'll be honest, mostly the good old fashioned art which your mother would be proud of, apart from one peice which was rather sexually expicit to say the least and would cause your weak hearted granny to have a rather nasty culture shock. Then you get the the tate modern which is usually an array of blank canvas symbolsing 'emptyness' and 'the void' and other crap, but this year i found a few more pieces more, art worthy shall we say. What i mean is you wernt staring at a bin wondering, "is this a bin i should be looking at, or am i actually allowed to put my empty bag of jelly beans in there?"... which took my mind off the fact they charge 90p for a packet of walkers crips at the cafe. Anyway apart from the crazy singing woman it was a trip i wont be regretting too much- apart from the bastards didnt like the fact i was attempting to take photos with my shitty camera on my phone which can play doom at a respectable resolution and fps but cant take a picture that is recognisable to the human eye.
Anyway ive written much to much crap for one night, i'll fill you in with more worthless info when ive found jebus. February 10 Dafty by appointment to the queen, by law, and by custom we meet in the digital world of electric blue spiders to exchange magic jelly beans of information for the sugar rush. the jelly beans in their wonderous short lived lives in the form of goats. they came from tescos in maldon where the car still sits with the angry looking cow in it listening to REm sniffing plastic wrappers. i told her to leave the dress for now as she wont need it for ages. but she wont listen and now the limo will arrive any minute now for the impending doom. pocoyo off the tv wont speak english as he is a jap... hes a little stupid though. that kid in the atlas centre was right talking with your hand over your mouth is dangerous. alot like finding a rude word in a round of countdown. that could have just been a weird dream but im not sure i was awake at the time. whoever gave me the damn flu... in the wise words of an excentric ninja "I look forward to killing you soon!". somerfield has a significant loss of sandwiches and pringles but nobody will notice if the bakers oven is still open. i cant confirm that bread has not suffered inthe making of this text allthough the use of neuclear weapons has still to be confirmed. dont look for the plutonium as double clicking is bad for your legs and any limbs that are involved in the sport of learning. the money hasnt come in yet but im sure that the letter will come in the post soon enough. when will i be able to spellcheck what im saying in the pub? i think that section is on page 666 of the bible. they say that the earth doesnt revolve around the sun but they will send the cleaners if there wrong. damn, simon says jump in the pool with that caculator strapped to your forehead to see what happens.. the jokes on you. he was right though there was a alien staring through my window, i owe jebus 50% now. meh, it doesnt matter though, that drunken scandal will be long forgotten in the morning. mark my words, one day i shall direct an army of security ferrets for my control only when will they realise that beer is good for the brain? im ready to take my furry fire blanket and run off to the sunset... January 26 NumbNutsWelcome to "My Waste of Space" where i intuitivley discover further methods of making people feel they could have done something more preductive with thier lifes throught the medium of the 'blog'. The word itself, blog, being utterly stupid as it is i thought id start this weBLOG off with something stupid: butterred toast.
why buttered toast? well im an unimaginative little soul and its the first thing that came to mind- probably cos im eating it now. allthough its not really buttered toast, its more toast with butter on it- the damn butter was so cold it wouldnt spread, more or less sliced and layed ontop of the bread in a hope it will melt. now that either means we buy really cheap butter or its really cold out there. probably both as i can confirm its damn cold out there (2°c as far as my trusty thermometer tells me) and that this beer that has been sitting in my conservatory for the last few days is defrosting as i speak. tonights beer if your at all interested is kronenbourg 1664. why its got the 1664 on it i dont know as its brewed 2 weeks ago according to the bottle. what i do know is that they put it in these stupid 250ml bottles which emptied out probably wouldnt fill a shot glass, either way i like kronenbourg. anyway id say more crap but ive run outta crap to say... how ironic January 22 Researchers Find Barbie Is Often Mutilatedfirst blog of 2006!thats right, i havent added to this thing since the beginning of december (last year of course), why not? well havent been drinking enough alcohol lately and if i was i wasnt sober enough to write anything... not that you care anyway, got bored of "revising" for my IT exam on tuesday and went on the pc and pissed about. after 20mins of brutally killing about 100 terrorists with my trusty m4 my computer works up a pretty good sweat and i have to put on the extra fans. anyway long story cut short to stop you falling asleep, if you arnt allready, i wrote a program to manage my fans- and it bloody works!
Project Panda Poker it was called (name courtesy of 3 cans of carlsberg) and after a bit of coding i got it working. Now it doesnt actually do anythin yet apart from turn on a pretty blue LED i shoved in the back of my pc. anyway i'll grab myself a pcb board and about 20p worth of components to connect my paraell port to my fans (and the neon light whilst im there) anyway i renamed the program to Fan & Light Manager to make it look professional and i'll replace that crappy pic i stole of apple osx with something more relavent. December 10 A Few Pints Later..."OKAY THEN"... ive uploaded the xmas feast pictures that are bound to haunt us at a later stage in life... anyway i managed to take absolutley none of them so that should explain the mystery of how there are pictures of me in there... most blurred from the shaken hand of alcohol infushion, then if clear enough you can see the scary face of people blinking from the god damn awful flash...
anyway twas a good night all in all... the DJ was a little excitable and decided to sing over every god damn song and the songs were a little shitty in the first place, but hey after a few pints your dance to just about any sound with half a beat to it, either that or start a conga line. anyway im tired as i decided it would be fun to stay up to 2am and drink gin and tonic watching Al Murray on 3 seperate different channels at once while listening to virgin radio... fuck knows why but it sounded like a good plan at the time. feel free to leave some comments about the photos, or if ya want a copy just msn me  December 03 Queen Vs 50 CentSome sic bastards called The Silence Xperiment took perfectly good queen songs and put that 50 cents flipping voice over the top of it... dare i say it, it almost makes 50 cent listenable, but i think i'll stick with the origionals... from queen that is... anyway the title of the songs and the album art made me jolly so enjoy.... This Is How We Bite The Dust If I Cant Be A Champion Crazy Little Pimp Called Love Under Pressure All The Time We Will Rock You In Da Club Just It All Old Fashioned Outta Control Lover Disco Language Candy Bottom Girls Flash Questions Bohemian Wanksta  November 29 Well Golly-Geepers-G-Wiz!Welcome to my world again, and by golly I sincerely hope you brought a spare pair of underpants. Anyway, where do I start? Let’s start with today shall we? Ok today, I found out what happens when you give three 18 year old males some balls- you throw them at each other of course! OK so these were juggling balls and we partially used them to watch Jordan juggle away like a performing circus monkey… other than that many people observed us throwing our balls at each other... Moving swiftly on from the fun with our balls, we do other productive things at school too… such as make oversized paper aeroplanes, discuss important issues with topical debates, then throw the oversized paper aeroplanes at each other in an attempt to take an eye out. What can I say, that’s just what the school system is all about. When not at school we go into the local town centre and drink some silly liquids in green bottles called Stella. Well we were going to control our silliness in a public house but we got chucked out as they didn’t accept library cards as identification or proof of age. So instead we took our drunkenness to the streets of the world, better known as the Burger King in Chelmsford. We a decided to partake in some chips and from there we found ourselves next to an Odeon pretending to have watched Harry Pothead’s latest motion picture- “Yes Mr Officer, were getting picked up soon- don’t worry we haven’t been drinking… Oh, The movie? Yer it was good…." Randomly I decided to tell you I drew a bottle… and it had a tap and it grew flowers from its orifices… it has been attached in its early stages for you to give your eyes some fun. Speaking of fun with orifices, the official Korean website is a good laugh: "... it's a basic point to warrant the protection of the country using an invincible military power that will protect the motherland and the revolutionary achievements from the aggressive Yankee imperialism and its servants." November 13 Remember: Santa can see you nakedwell howdy-doody my little quite obviously bored blog buddies... how can i give you reoccuring nightmares today?
oh i know what will... christmas... its spreading like wildfire.. or someting really contagious... not like that poxy bird-flu scam. so yer chirstmas is poking its ugly head at us... and dear god isnt it an ugly bugger?
speaking of ugly... sorta... doesnt that fucking tim westwood want to make you break down and cry? the fucking inbred english man thinks hes a black rapper from some 'ghetto' in new orleans or sumthing... if he got run over by one of those cars on pimp my ride uk, lets just say the last thing i will be thinking of doin is changing the channel... speaking of 'pimped' cars... i got the need for speed most wanted demo.. and as my previous addiction for all things need for speed has got violently out of control, its unfortunatley a damn good game... abiet from the deluded jack asses at EA.
ok what else... oh yeah.. on my vast travels of the internets dark and mysterious places, i found this little site called pandora if you wanna give it a clicky.. basically it does loads of stuff about the kinda music you listen to and it'll play music that your like from bands youve never heard of.. apparently i like music that:
"features hard rock roots, mild rhythmic syncopation, a vocal-centric aesthetic, minor tonality and extensive vamping"
as soon as i find out what any of those words mean i'll get some of the music it plays.. as if the 30gb of music i allready got isnt enough.
ok well i fear ive allready warped your brain into a pulp so i will lie back, drink my special water, put the sumbrearo on and let myself get dizzy from the bright lights and find myself wandering into a sleezy bar full of drunken eskimos doin silly things with fish. therefor i leave you with some higlighted pictures of the past month or so...
ps. whoever added about 30 trackbacks to an insulin website is... erm... not a very nice person... October 28 BARCELONA!Whoo got back from our little trip to spain this morning... kinda tired... and boy do i look like it so yeah went to nou camp stadium, watched malager vs barcelona (barcelona won 2-0 - one via penalty yeah!) tried
to get plenty of paper aeroplanes on the pitch, but never suceeded as
we were right at the top... and thats very very high.. allthough did
get close what else... went to a cathedral which wich by conicidence was very fucking high.. which was great went on a hamster wheel and buised the crap outta myself... driver and teachers dressed in drag.. nuff said worked out never trust a french person to make a toilet... it will be a hole in the ground well thats it... i'll elaborate later after 12hrs of sleep
October 15 18Well bugger me, im 18 allready... and just incase i forgot: so tomorrow i should have everybody over to cover one of the tasks on the list, become rather drunk... that is if everybody doesn't die first or go missing of the face of the planet... oh yeah got my digital camera! i took a picture of the tv and managed to a rather interesting image of paul o grady with boobs... and yes i know thier pointing the wrong way. October 03 God hates chain emailsok i got another thing to add to my hate list... chain emails ffs i dont get the mentality of people who send these pathetic things on... "if you send this to 10 people your deams will come true" or "if you dont send this to 20 people you will get cancer".... ok they maybe dont say those exact words but i think i'll take my chances and not forward it thanks. anyhoo... i got super pissed when i got this one: HEY!! On the 1st of november , we will have to pay for the use of our MSN and email accounts unless we send this message to at least 18 contacts on your contact list. It's no joke if you don't believe me then go to the site ( www.msn.com ) and see for yourself. Anyways once you've sent this message to at least 18 contacts , your msn dude will become blue. please copy and paste don't forward cos people won't take notice of it otherwise for one, msn never would track who the hell sends an email to anyone else, they dont care and im pretty sure they're not allowed give a crap on your pathetic emails anyway. two, msn would never change a free service to a paid one without an official email from them you f-ing idiots- that or put it on their msn website, which, for your reference my bewildered friend, its not! also, from the gazillion copies of this email i got, the dates kept changing from 1st oct to 1st august.... one even said 1st september. anyway yer chain mail, makes me want to cut all of my limbs off and post them to everyone im small tiny peices so that it would fit in an email. my favourite one was the virus scare one where it told you to delete a java runtime file in system32 folder.... nice one there. ok what else can i rant about now... motherboard still hasnt come, damn royal mail. oh yeah i felt my genitals waste away as today tom max and jordan decided to pull a sick day and leave me with nic, luara, and gemma for most part of the morning playing worms world party on my phone... geez this has gotta be the most boringest blog ever... bye now my chain mail buddies September 26 Tis Been A Bad Day.... or weekmy secret deal with satan has gone tits up as hes comming back to mentally bugger me up... and not in a nice way for a start im really really skint, shelling out a backbreaking £250 in all for my barcelona trip and resitting exams that messed up so badly that they might think i was unconsious during them... oh yeah and then giving out money here and there as damn charity and the christmas feast doo... anyway i got some money back by working all sunday-ish... but i managed to cut my damn lip by using a rather sharp blade... if i recal i think it was an attempt at shaving.... anyway my lip was leaking soddin blood all day n i looked like i right tit quite honestly. of course it stopped immediatley as soon as i got home. and now my motherboard has died on me.. most likey melted some poor part of it in a attempt at playing doom 3 in a hot room until it exploded with the silicon flying everywhere and cutting lips... sorta... anyway good news is that everyone seems to be equally annoyed so maybe its not just me and my sad life that is getting a silly satan slap... ok maybe thats not good news... allthough microsoft has been having a bad day... i had a lookie at some microsoft sites and it came up with somthing like "Something catastrophic has happened. Please Stand by" on a blank page... so yer they probably spilled some coffee on the keyboard or sumthing although i do seem to be getting free texts and phone calls as O2 seems to have screwed up- god bless them. they must have heard im totally broke... maybe if i got some ema money that im due i wouldnt be trying to poorley sell my body on street corners.. for medical research only of course... now i find that we have no alcohol in the house either and im not 18 for another few weeks yet so i cant go out and by some... maybe if i got the hairs from the bathroom sink stick them on my face with pritt-stick to the extent that they cant see my face.. maybe i might be able to get some loopy juice.. either that or they will laugh and send me away in disgust if your pissed of and you know it clap your hands.. clap clap September 24 Ahh crap... why me?ok well my pc has decided to slip in to an eternal coma even after
kicking it in the teeth a few times... also known as the damn thing
wont switch on. me thinks the motherboard has gone to silicon valley
heaven cos me worked the damn thing too hard... so yer, pc is screwed, no blogness, no messenger, no happy me, god looks down and laughs... when i get it fixed maybe i'll treat it nicely this time... ie. not sticking fingers in the fans and ararranging things while its still on... cant promise anything though... -- oh yeah if your wondering how the hell im posting this, im not talking from the grave here, im actually using an old 800mhz beast of my brothers.... what can i say... this thing should have retired donkeys years ago IF YOU HAVE A NF7-S v2.0 - GIVE IT TOO ME NOW!!!!  September 21 Bored Bored BoredWhen boredem sets in.. blog your way out of it!
Ive bended the rules again, this my bewildered fans is not a
simi-drunken blog... however i have been inhaling many toxic spirits
against my will.. well sorta... theres the looming particles of "Stone
Grey" paint in the air which is making me feel rather lightheaded i
guess...
anyway in my seek for entertainment, i randomly decided going
through my old cd backups of yesteryear... i allways make cds of old
shit i'll never ever use again but its on cd just incase the world
depended on those old versions of nvidia graphics drivers... anyhoo i
found some old 3DS MAX stuff i did early 2003.. so i decided to post
some of that for ya...
pretty simple text, no textures, one light, big enough for a wallpaper for some reason
Bit more complecated... everything was rendered including the
grass and the text but i'll admit i accidently deleted the volumetic
fog (clouds) and the omni light with a galizillion
effects (the sun), so i actually used a wallpaer i had lying
around my documents folder
a 2 second movie of an animated thingey with the grass and a sun and clounds not from a wallpaper!!
i think these were the first things i started modelling in 3d, im
sure i have some better stuff lying around on other cds... oh by the
way those files are hosted on my computer so if you cant get to them
then my pc is probably not turned on or sumthin is deeply wrong... September 16 Tis-fcukin-caliDIE TISCALI DIE! If you ever feel like being seriously ****** pissed off, have a laugh and sign up to Tiscali's so called internet service. They will make sure that you get intermittent connection; customer support ran by an Indian monkey with a mouldy banana; and stop you playing online games, file sharing, video streaming, and anything remotely fun unless you like dial up speeds. The almighty website that Tiscali “customer support” told me to email replied over two weeks later very nicely saying it was all solved- no problems- sorted mate… but that unfortunately was bullshit. So I emailed back rather pissed off... So anyway I probably won’t actually wait for a reply as it will just be as crappy as the last. I kinda feel violated like a man from Tiscali came round, kicked me in the balls and ran away into the sunset….
--- MoonMoose September 11 Long time - No BlognessAfter a while of doing feck all, here I am refilling your addiction to wholesome blog goodness.
Today I am breaking the mould, this not being a semi-drunken
rambling. I was only able to get my mitts on one Stella, but I haven’t
eaten much and I’m tired so hopefully it should kick in a bit…
Tiredness courtesy to my damn neighbours who had a party last
night and by the constant singing of ‘REM – Man On The Moon’ among with
other old songs I forgot existed, it sounds like they’re be having a
pretty good hangover this morning, presuming alcohol was the only drug
they were consuming…
Anyway back to my meaningless existence, I’m allowed back into
school after the unattractive collection of E’s (not the drug, I mean
AS level grades). Anyway with an abundance of free periods with friends
I should have a better year… Apart from the swarm of chavs that have
followed into the satanic cult that is 6th form. In a ‘Bonding’ session
where I had to make eye contact with the bastards I realised that I
will never remember any of their names, and by strange coincidence I
won’t remember how to say 1-10 in Japanese either…
And in the desperate attempt at conversation, me and certain
person I’ll name as Mr. Dan are fighting against the Italian axis of
evil known as Tiscali. These little bandwidth limiting bastards have
made a contract with Satan to take over the world. What’s worse is that
I have to pay premium rate to talk to a clueless woman in an Indian
call centre to find out this information. I wish companies would keep
the sodding call centres in the UK. FFS I cant understand a soddin word
they are saying and most of them don’t actually know what a computer
is. This actually reminds me of a funny cartoon: http://www.illwillpress.com/tech.html
Oh yeah, and by strange coincidence I was looking trough some
random MSN spaces on the "Updated MSN Spaces" list, and as usual I have
a good browse through the old photo album (subconsciously looking for
pornography). Anyway, as a laugh I randomly decided to see if I could
pick out anyone I recognise knowing I wouldn't. I nearly crapped myself
when I saw somebody I used to know at school in one of the photos.
Before you find out yourself, there isnt any porn in my photo album... im sorry.
Well what else can I say apart from sorry for wasting a minute of
your important life’s (depending on how fast you can read this crap).
--- The HyperBaboon August 02 dance monkey dancelast few days i have been avioding electric shocks... why avoid them when they feel soo good? well...
my computer has been making me what to take a sledgehammer to it.. and not in a nice way
i downloaded monkeysofts windows vista beta which just wouldn't
install- even through blackmale.. allthough im sure your computer cant
hear your threats... anyway where was i? oh yes, after putting in my
brothers hard drive in postitions the karma sutra havent seen, the
bugger started slowly installing... which was nice.
next hurdle was gettin the damn modem working- which is impossible
unless your french apparently. so to solve it i bought myself a sexy
netgear router (yes i called a plastic box sexy- for that i
appologise).
anyway when that came, i had myself some more pretty flashing lights to look at (oh de joy) and some internet to play with.
oh yeah, i realised that you should never hint to a beta tester
that you downloaded vista as they will attempt to mentally rape you. im
not sure why they get soo pissed off but it may have something to do
with the MSDN subscription they are paying to legally get it. i would
be pissed off too if i was paying $699 to get my hands on unfinnished
software.
then, several peices of toast later, i noticed that a floppy disk
drive had held a disk hostage... and this is where the electric shocks
come in... in anger i pulled the drive out of the pc (while it was
still on may i add- what? dont say you havent tried it before) anyway
now that i have unscrewed enough screws to put together a small car,
i rescued the disk (which was pretty fucked at that point) then
put the drive back in like nothing happened... ha ha 2-1 hais. then i
noticed it was the disk was a crappy christmas present i got years ago
(yes, thats not a typo- a christmas present!), my three and a half inch
floppy was never the same again... now enough with phallic
innuendo's.... thats 2-all
ok im having to draw myself away from the mesmirising flashing
lights that are the netgear dg834v2.... mmm... maybe i'll just start
minimising and restoring windows and watch them zoom up and down.. oh
dear my life really is sad
screenshot the hell outta this mess... --- The JungleRobin July 28 Monkey looking at me from the wardrobe...Evil Mr. Wincock has finally released us from his place of learning for 6 odd weeks... yes it’s the fantastic school holidays But first he thought he'd just leave the bitter taste of depression through the process of the dreaded end of term assembly- which was f-ing awful. The standard song and dance routine softened us up for the full blown torture of a sodding PowerPoint presentation. The only thing that stopped me considering the pleasure of eating my own head was the little Queen tune in the background. Max the lucky fcuk ran for the hills via the excuse of a toilet break… Finally two men hit some sticks against a drum very quickly to almost sound like it had a tune to it. My ears were delightfully bleeding as I left the hall. Anyhoo... that was that and I left after being subjected to an hour of movie trivia… Home at last and I sat down and looked at the prospect of what I will do. Turns out it shall be art work, resistant materials projects, finishing off a schools website, mind numbing chemistry exercises and earning money for this little break to Barcelona in October. All this with the insignificant task of drinking my way through the boring nights, sleeping, eating and maybe some socialising with whoever wants to talk to a wrecked man.Right now I’m tediously receiving a copy of Windows Vista Beta 1 over my newly found 2MB broadband. Although the download is going at the speed of a cheetah that has bit all its legs off, I’m sure it will be worth it when it’s done- that’s if I can fool my pc into doing what I want it to do and successfully dual boot this little bastard. On a lighter note, I finnally found my graphics tablet pen so I can scribble away the days... Anyway the sound all this typing is stopping the monkey in my
wardrobe from sleeping so I should probably release you from my
ramblings and let you dwell in the excitement of being alive. --- July 21 Kids these days...OKie dokie i've been doing a club with catherine at Meadgate Primary School since god knows when, and in this club ive been teaching about 10 kids how to use frontpage (ugh.. terrible program)
Anyway they have been making some pretty messed up websites....
Also a collection of blatent lies to keep the staff happy:
" At Meadgate school we have a nice school playing field. We also have a swimming pool where your child will become a strong swimmer. We have great teaching staff." " Come to Meadgate School it is really fun "
We did in the end get some good work done which were going to post on the school website for all to enjoy (or mock).. I must have corrupted the young kids minds in such a impressive way they invited us back for another year of the club.. which is.. er... nice July 16 If your not sacred - you should be....Randomly decided to post a list of phobias i hope i never get...
 Arachibutyrophobia- Fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth.
Barophobia- Fear of gravity Hedonophobia- Fear of feeling pleasure Allodoxaphobia- Fear of opinions Anablephobia- Fear of looking up Euphobia- Fear of hearing good news Epistemophobia- Fear of knowledge Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia- Fear of long words Ideophobia- Fear of ideas Papaphobia- Fear of the Pope Phronemophobia- Fear of thinking Selenophobia- Fear of the moon Xanthophobia- Fear of the color yellow or the word yellow Verbophobia- Fear of words Pantophobia- Fear of everything Phobophobia- Fear of phobias and if there was a fear of hyperlinks... www.phobialist.com --- July 12 Chelmsford is a Sinful City (or town...)OK today was a boring day:
I didnt go to any lessons at all because there wasnt a damn 6th
former in the whole school who i felt like talkin too... thats becuase
just about everyone was in a shit smelling zoo in colchester looking at
monkey sex... sick little buggers
Anyway, i was watchin a copy of sin city and its a great film.
Breifly, its just a bunch of thugs and prostitues shootin the shit
outta each other, torture, lots of nice explosives, ripping each others
body parts off (including genitals, meh...) and knifing each other
(sadly also involving the genitals...)
Strangely if this doesnt sound like the kinda film that makes
you wanna go and forge a fake ID and see it at the odeon- hold on its
got more to it! Unbeiliveably its also a damn good laugh, even when
sober. The one part that cracked me up was when this gay kinda guy gets
harpooned in the chest and is surprisingly chuffed about it...
sorry about the lame ass pics but atleast there there... --- The FireOwl July 06 Well bugger me with a poleWell today was an all round "Fuck You" day...
First of all we started the Abuse Nicola Day which apparently was a registered event that happens to all Nicolas all over the world. The Bosnians do it the worst...
Secondly my one and only tech classmate got some bad feedback about his project off some stupid fishing website. I went on there and sent some of my own "Fuck You" back to them in a very nice and poite way of course...
Thirdly I got extremely pissed of with Tiscali's website and retarded girl I talked to on the customer support line many times calling their website crap (no seriously). All i wanted to do was upgrade my £19.99 512k broadband to £19.99 2MB on the website that doesnt even fuckin work (i know its the same damn price- i dont understand either). The stupid hoare tried it herself and what do you know- it doesnt fuckin work bitch, i could have told you! I know what your saying.. try another time. Well not only have I been trying for a sodding week but my freind tried the same damn upgrade the day before with not a damn hitch. At this point im wondering if they let suicide bombers into tiscali head quarters...
Fourthly the immortal cocknoses at barclay card keep trying to sell my mother some shitty package over the phone.. pretty much every day. Anyway we have caller ID and my mum got me to answer it cos she knew it was gonna be them and at this point i was still a little angry at the tiscali wankers so i told barclay card to shove it and not to phone up again... were see if we get some phone calls now...
Anyway i sent a damn angry email to tiscali and maybe- just maybe- their actually get a damn guy to do it that knows what the fuck hes doin...
for now the infernal blinking of my printers maintainence LED is driving me up the wall.. this printer sucks up ink like a horney mule on viagra.. some day i will replace it with my own product and see what happens...
well i hope you all get raped by massive pandas with aids.... i still love you.... July 05 okie kokieWell this is another legendary entry by me into my book of drunken or semi drunken ramblings about life and... Err... yer... stuff…
Dont ask me why this blog entry is in a larger font than the others- it is and your just have to get over it Oh yeah everyone update your god dammed msn spaces or blog so that I have boring stuff to read on those cold and long sober nights...
Anyhoo and moving swiftly on to something equally dull… I finally managed to ram a whole total of 2222 songs into my iTunes music library (notice how the word itunes isn’t in the Microsoft word dictionary as it’s classed as a swear word)… Anyway yer that’s 183 albums of music not composed by a Prozac fuelled panda with access to a keyboard filled with black ghetto buzz words like “homie” and “nigga”. As you can tell by this poor rant that I don’t listen to anything that sounds just like a little bit like it came from some stupid black rapper who makes “songs” about how many prostitutes he has in his bmw and manages to sell them to chavs who aren’t exactly sure what the artist is saying and feels it right to just nod their head to it like they were from the ghetto…
After living off buttered toast nearly non stop for the last few days, Just now I wondered if it would be possible to arrest the slave wage Microsoft monkeys who created internet explorer. Just because those damn idiots made some shoddy internet browser and as a result is confusing many millions of home computer users with advertisements from companies trying to sell them Viagra against their will… Microsoft themselves are a great help by saying (and I quote):
“..Follow your instincts! If the source does not seem familiar or trustworthy, then do not open the e-mail, click the pop-up, or visit the Web site...”
…which is a great help in solving a problem with their own product which is used by many quite frankly retarded people what don’t know the difference between an advert and an apple.
Ok now before Bill Gates get his hired rapists knocking at my door asking for a friendly chat in a locked room, deletes my msn space at the worry of rasing suspision and then the world forgets I ever lived.... June 21 .. at the end of the day we all want to be like batmanOkie Dokie... whats worth wasting your time over today? back to school 2day and its just as exciting as its allways been... the previous amount of excitement i still have to find... Jordan displayed his tricked out pimp vechicle, fitted with sunroof, air fresheners, 1 hub cap and even windscreen wipers as standard- whoo.... na its a gd car... ohh possible trip to barcelona just after my bday... i'll be 18 and will be buying all the legally bought booze i can get my hands on... allthough in spain there give ya booze if your above 4ft high... Began my own mini clan on css.. Uknown Badger, Unknown Mole, Unkown Penguin & Unknown Chimp. Next shall be the Unknown Fox/Racoon/Ferret... Oh yeah one more thing i want to bring to the hate list.. people who put LOL at the end of every peice of crap they say... even when theyve only said LOL Meh.. ok running out of things to say... saw batman begins or watever its called.. alltogether an 'OK' movie, nothin special. I have to admit, I wasnt exactly paying attention as i may have drunk too many ice blast tangos and needed a leak half way through the movie... er... OK.. well...I hope you have enjoyed this release. One of many best selling books by me. You will expect this novel to be released around the time of harry potter to see who gets to No. 1.. Im currently working on my next bestseller titled: You wanna good time? - i can get you some lady freinds... only $5 June 14 All work and no play makes me a dull boywell its been a while since i posted so meh... why not eh?? well to be honest i have had those suicidal exams and have formatted my pc since... from that i concluded that i hate internet explorer. From a few mins from installing a fresh copy of xp pro, i picked up 3 adware packages all offering to change my homepage to some random website, tempt me into clicking on slut porn, and offering to enlarge my penis. all this from visiting ligitamate driver websites. i quickly got my friendly fox on fire (or... firefox) and enjoyed as it blocked ads for me and conviently showed me the weather lol oh yeah i began to code a website hosted on my pc, to which still isnt finnished but is readable: http://hais.servebeer.com er... wat else... nothin i think... oh yeah get garrys mod 8.3 - good shit and that concludes tonights drunken rambleings. tune in next week to see if Barry confronts his wife about her affair... oh hold on thats a tv show...
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